Feb 73 min read

An Alchemist's Lecture

"...And that is how you create greenwill oil, Jacob!"

"A horribly dull process, I know, but as my protégé, it’s what you’ll be working on for quite a while! After all, it’s what we most commonly sell. While it’s only real value is in bulk, it vanishes practically instantly. The oil may not feel incredibly good on the skin, but it’s used in cooking, in medicine, in a great many of the wondrous potions we’ll be working on here!" "Why, there are even a great many arcanus mages that will use the oil as components for fire magic spells due to its viscosity! It helps to make the fire stick to the target a lot longer, and thus hurt a lot more. Yes, I know, it’s irritating to be stuck on doing what you might consider chores, but consider this; let’s say I gave you a bigger task, like putting together fig snake juice, and then I put what you make on the shelves tomorrow." "Would you be one hundred percent confident in what you made? Would you be sure that the person that drinks it would be able to survive the nefarious agent that had infiltrated their body? No? Then you must continue to learn how to perform your previous tasks until you are certain that you could do them blindfolded, and then I’ll teach you how to make the next item!" "Yes, I know, it took you a month to master glue-making, but that’s a tricky thing to make. Yes, it is a coincidence that I had a bulk order for it come through! I was there working hard alongside you as well, you know!" "... Yes, supervising is hard work. I needed to make sure all of the product that you made was suitable for where it was going, and as such I needed to test it. Again, yes, it is a coincidence that I tested it by letting it dry on my hands and then peeling it off." "Look, if you want to try making firebug on your own, be my guest, but you can do it in your own house rather than my lab. That way when you set it on fire, it won’t be me that loses money. But in the meantime, I’m paying you for your labour, which means that you are going to make greenwill oil for me until I deem you ready to move on to the next thing, and that is final!" "... And no, I have not been taking glister again. I told you after the last incident that I wouldn’t be doing it. Now, you get to work on that. I have orders of angel’s breath and syre drops to make, so I’ll be getting to work on that. Wh-" "Fine, I’ll allow you to watch. But only if you manage to finish at least twenty units of greenwill oil before I’m done! If you can’t work quickly, then you have no business being my protege! And before you start off again, I’m aware that you need to wait for the greenwill to boil before you can get any of it. That’s why I’ll be deliberately waiting inside my workshop for exactly five and a half minutes. If you aren’t able to get it done before the clock hits half past twelve, then I’ll simply start without you, and you’ll be even more confused!" "So I suggest that you get to work my boy, after all, time waits for no man! Wait, what do you mean you’re already done? Good gods above, have I been talking for that long? Why, time isn’t waiting for me either! Come along then, Jacob! I shall make you witness to the pinnacle of modern alchemical advancements! Unless you count the highly illegal poisons and drugs, of course. "